Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Drugs! Or, why i love Big Lots

Hi, my name is Michael, and i am a caffeine fueled raging motherfucker.

I'll drink coffee, and if it is good coffee i will even enjoy it... especially if someone else is paying for the good coffee.

I'll drink tea, even though not enough of the caffeine seems to get into the finished drink unless i brew it so strong that anyone drinking it with me turns whiny about it.

I'll guzzle soft drinks, diet or regular, Coke or Pepsi, brand and flavor don't much matter as long as it is not flat out nasty, and has my drug of choice included in the recipe.

And energy drinks? Whoa, bonus, with their additions of various dosages of herbal speeders and B vitamins, few bevvies work on me nearly as well. Never mind that a few of them break my not nasty tasting rule, the rush is worth it... The price, on the other hand, not so much.

Which brings me to Big Lots... at least locally, their beverage aisle is about 50% energy drinks, ranging from 8 ounce glass bottles of blackcurrant weirdness in the shape of a grenade, to 24 ounce cans of heart asplodey goodness... A riotous mix of familiar brands in unfamiliar flavors and mixes you might not want to know are in the marketplace... Including i remember a drink that claimed to be sex fuel... From the amount of dust on those cans, i guess no one else wanted to try it either.

Which brings me wandering eventually to my latest fix... Howling Monkey Energising Cola... the bevvy with the creepiest and least informative promotional site i have ever viewed. The flavor is close to bog-standard cola, with some slightly odd side notes, i have been getting this stuff in 6 packs of 16 oz cans for $3.60 with about the same boot to the head factor as the more common Red Bull, Monster etc...

And i have never seen this stuff anywhere else! I love this stuff, but apparently the same marketing geniuses who screwed the pooch with their entertaining but non informative web site were in charge of distribution of this speedy ambrosia.

And that sucks, because the biggest problem with Big Lots is that all too often, once a product is gone, it's gone. **sigh** And then i will have to find another way to feed my monkey.